The Imperfect Me

I am just a person who is hoping that I'll be the best person for you.

Even not the best, I'll try give my best to you.

Just for you.

But why?

Because you are a special person in my life.

Every time I wish that I could be by your side

So I could see you smile and laugh with me.

Every second I pray to God to take care of you

Coz I don''t want you hurt even a bit.

Every night I wish I will dream of you

Coz everyday I missed you.

I wanna be the best for you

I want to be by your side if you sad

I want to sweep your tears if you cry

I wanna be the shoulder for you to cry on

I want to make jokes so that you will smile

And I want to hug you so you know that I love so much.

I wanna be the best for you

I want to be by your side if you get angry

I promise that I will not say any word

And I will let you release all of your anger

I will listen to you

Every word

I will stay by your side

Even if you scold me when it is actually not my fault

Coz I want you to cool down

And let your anger go away with the wind.

I wanna be the best for you

I want to be by your side if one day you fell sick

I will take a good care of you

I will take you to the doctor

I will feed you with the best menu for you

I will help you to get up

I will help you with your medicine

I will help you for anything

So that you will get well soon

Coz seeing you sick

Would make me hurt deep inside my heart.

But...

I am imperfect....

When you sad, I can't be by your side

I can't sweep your tears

I can't be your shoulder for you to cry on

I can't make jokes to make you laugh

I feel so sad that I couldn't do all of it...

When you get angry, I can't be by your side

I do listen to every word from you

I do realise that you are releasing all of your anger to me

But I couldn't handle it

Coz I feel like you are blaming me

And I am so sorry...

When you fall sick, I can't be by your side

Coz I am far away from you

And you don't even tell me

Sometimes, I became blur on what to do

How could this happen to me?

Am I too lousy for you?

You can't trust me to rely on me?

I realize

That I am not perfect

I try to do the best for you

But I realize that I am not doing good enough

Maybe you don't even notice that I am willing to do anything for you

I might argue with you

But it is just my opinion

I might don't bother to look at you

But I look at you when you turn around

I might look not interested on what you are talking about

But I am memorizing all the things you said

I might look like don't care about you

But I am asking everyone I meet to know about you

I might give my angry face when you persuade me

But in my heart I am so happy with it

I might look like a cruel person, who has no feelings or fear

But deep inside my heart, I am so fragile and my heart is filled with love

I might look like I am thinking of nothing

But most of the time, I am thinking of you...

Why do I love you so much?

I hate my self coz I can't answer this simple question...

Why I can't answer it?

Coz this life is complicated without you...